I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
