Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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