Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
