I wish life had little blips of pornography
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
