no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize