I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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