I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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