Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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