honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
