Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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