Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
