This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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