I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
