just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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