terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
