Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
