I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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