i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
