Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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