i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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