on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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