I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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