Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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