if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have feelings that need drinking.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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