dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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