you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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