I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
