This girl is more easily done than said...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
