Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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