No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
