oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
