i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
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