I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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