Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
