yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
