Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
