is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
