I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
