Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
