i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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