OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
