you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
