it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
