dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
