Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
