absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
