i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
