Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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