weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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