Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
