i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
